Memory of a FAther

Memory of a Father

Twenty two years and seven months ago, our firstborn came into this world. We have not really prepared for her coming. I have two ob-gyne for my consultations, one in the  province and one in the camp, thinking I can have my delivery wherever I may be with the obstetrician knowing my history and the child condition.

When they are still in love with swimming, now time flies.

When they are still in love with swimming, how fast time flies.

My work demands that I travelled long distances to attend court duties even if I am already on my eight months of pregnancy. I travelled to Pangasinan by bus to testify in one of the cases I handled and I have pillow to give me some comfort but the road was so bumpy with so many potholes and unfinished construction. I was able to go home although there was already pain in my stomach.

That night, at around 12 midnight my bag of water broke. we tried to go to the nearest hospital. It is not yet my delivery date so I was also not prepared although we have stock up on things that may be needed for the new baby. The nearest to our place is Fabella Hospital but there are no vacant rooms and patients are already occupying the hallways. We were referred to St. Mary’s General Hospital, an old hospital with new doctors.

When you are not in the picture , you got literally pasted

When you are not in the picture , you got literally pasted

The duty that night. Doctor Oray is newly graduate and with little experience in assisting childbirth. I had long waiting time for the baby to come, it was already day time and the pain is almost killing me. By 10 in the morning after much coaching, the baby decided to come out by normal delivery and see the world, it was already dry delivery and medicines did not ease the pain, I can almost feel it this day.

I did not see the baby because I fell asleep but I know I have the right baby since she is the only female baby in the hospital. Not too long after giving birth, I had profuse bleeding and Dra. Oray had already left the hospital. The next duty doctor was a male and more compassionate than his female counterpart. I was brought back to the delivery room and the stitches were removed. My uterus was cleaned and it turned out that some parts of the placenta were not flushed out which caused the bleeding. It was like having another child birth but I was awake at that time praying I live for my baby.

You were alone looking outside and I know you also prayed hard since you are no longer responding to questions. You were looking outside the window and pacing in the lobby and in the room. I cannot describe how you felt and I fully appreciate that even if you did not share the pain, I know you felt it too. You told me later that we need to name the baby, her second name is to be Angela after your grandmother and that I have to choose the first name. I remembered my grandmother so her name is Patricia Angela.

You were a good father, you washed nappies, bottle-fed her and rocked her in your arms until she is sleeping soundly. The second daughter came after five years and she did not experience lack of care. She was always in your arms even if she was big enough to be carried. I love the look of love you gave your daughters. It makes me feel sad that you did not and cannot dance with them on their debut, for that reason, they also decided not to have a debutante party.

You may be in heaven but your love will always remain with us. Happy Father’s Day in heaven.

Hindi maubos na luha.

Kelan ba yun? Iyak ako ng iyak para ke Glyzelle at sa mga batang biktima ng karahasan. Kahit si Pope Francis hindi siya masagot, kung bakit hinahayaan ng Diyos na mangyari yun. Maraming beses akong umiyak, sa misa sa Tacloban at tuwing nakikita ko Ang aking mga kasamahan. I feel so proud of them. Parang napamahal na rin kami sa mga tao at puro papuri narinig ko pati text messages sa akin. Hindi nabawasan ng pagkawala ng food allowance ng ibang kasapi Ang tiwalang aming natamo. Proud na proud ako, sa ulan at araw andon Ang mga pulis natin.


Ilang araw Lang Ang nagdaan, hindi pa tuyo Ang aking mga luha ng marinig ko na maraming pulis sa Special Action Force (SAF) Ang namatay sa kamay ng mga terrorista sa Maguindanao. Pagkatapos makuha si Marwan Ang pinaghahanap na terrorista sa mundo, napaligiran ang 36 na blocking force at walang itinirang buhay. Isa Ang nakaligtas sa pagaakalang namatay na rin ito at Marami pang napatay sa pinagrupo na nakakuha kay Marwan. Isa ba itong kapalit dahil tagumpay Ang police operations at isang kahihiyan para sa grupo nila na maisahan. Kelangang malaki Ang kabayaran, buhay sa buhay at higit pa. 44 tinaguriang #44Fallen ang kapalit at maraming malubhang nasugatan an hindi na magiging normal Ang buhay kailan pa man. Ang mga naging bihag naman ay nakaranas ng karumal dumal na kamatayan.

Buong Pilipinas Ang nagluksa kasama Ang mga Pilipino sa ibang bansa at muling ipinakita ng mamamayang Pilipino Ang Pagmamahal sa kanilang kapulisan.


I never dreamed it would be me,
My name for all eternity,
Recorded here at this hallowed place,
Alas my name, no more my face.
“In the line of duty,” I hear them say;
My family now the price will pay.
My folded flag stained with their tears;
We only had those few short years.
The badge no longer on my chest,
I sleep now in eternal rest
My sword I pass to those behind,
And pray they keep this thought in mind.
I never dreamed it would be me,
And with heavy heart and bended knee;
I ask for all here from the past,
Dear God, let my name be the last.


*aeon* (copied from A Soldier’s Love fb page)


SANA Di na ako muling luluha nguni’t paano kung naulilang mahal ay unuwing walang ulo o walang kamay, paa at mata. Kung inalisan ng kasarian at ninakawan at hinubaran. Wag sanang magtampo Ang Pangulo na Di tangapin Ang medalyang alay sapagkat sa loob ng Ataul ay uniporme lamang ang nakahimlay sapagkat nabubulok na pirapirasong katawan.

Ang mamatay ng dahil sa iyo at ihandog Ang iisang buhay ay siyang panuntunin at sinumpaan. Hindi ang yurakan ang dangal ng mga tampalasan.

Hindi pa rin maubos Ang luha ko at tuwing masasagi ng alala ay tutulong kusa.