Behind the smiles, beyond forgetting.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. I heard this before then I googled it and found out it was said by Bryan White. I do not really know where it originated, but I believed it to be true. Myself is no exception and those I asked, people who are in their teens, twenties, thirties, forties, fifties and even seventies and eighties age brackets have not felt there is change in the way they felt when they were young. Enrile is an example of how an eighties person could still be sharp and demand respect.

Same with my friend who is seventy one, he is very much respected by his peers, those younger than him because of his keen knowledge on politics, strategies, technical matters and the way of life. Yet, he admitted that he still feels young, at heart and mind maybe. I can conclude that there may be exceptions but generally, people are like me, we never grow old. The knowledge we learn, the restrictions of society and the norms imposed by groups set our perspectives on how we should act in public. Therefore, we really do not act, the way we feel and wanted.

We smile, I do smile, but, behind the smiles are sadness, pricking of pride, hurt feelings, arrogance, inner turmoil and a hundred feelings that were hidden since we are supposed to behave in a way that is expected of us.

Smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone. Nobody wants to be alone, twitter,  facebook and other social networking sites, the millions of SMS/text messages sent everyday,  blogs and telephone call attest to this fact. We need to connect with other people. No man indeed is an island.

Behind my smiles are tinge of sadness, for those I would left behind and the things I was not able to do.


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