Mother

My niece posted this, “Before I became a mother, I am first and will always be a daughter”. She made me realized that before I was a mother, I am a daughter to a mother that I haven’t really made an effort to show her how much she is appreciated and loved.

We are a big family and with five sisters and two brothers, the noise and the rumble of growing up together leaves a little room for showing you care and the sentimental showing of feelings. We do not celebrate mother’s day as kids and never did until we were grown up. My mother has only one focused vision for all her children, that we get a college degree. From her, I learned visioning that I re-learned in AIM.

There is one thing that I wished I could have done for Inay, it is something that never crossed my mind and too late before I realized. When she was gravely ill, she was calling her father and mother and is asking them to let her join them in the ship, she wants to ride a ship. She is fond of reading about places but I never realized I should have brought her to places where she would experience riding airplanes and ships. I was too absorbed with myself that I did not have a chance to ask my mother if she wants to go somewhere other than the usual places.

When my mother was still strong, my sister and I usually goes on vacation, I find time to accompany her in going to Boracay, Dumaguete City, Davao City, Bacolod City, Baguio City and many other places but we did not even think of asking our mother to join us. It was a day before she died that I heard her mumbling of riding a ship. it is so painful for me to have this realization of how much I have neglected my mother. maybe I was thinking or hoping she would live as long as I do and will always be there for us. I only called her on Mother’s Day to greet her, the presents I have given are inconsequential since i did not give myself to her, the way she did of giving herself to us, unconditionally and without asking anything in return.

Happy Mother’s Day Inay! I love you very much and I am so grateful to have you as my mother. When she was being interred, I can’t stop the tears from flowing especially with my favorite music being played, Sa Ugoy ng Duyan

Sana’y di magmaliw ang dati kong araw
Nang munti pang bata sa piling ni Nanay
Nais kong maulit ang awit ni Inang mahal
Awit ng pag-ibig habang ako’y nasa duyan
Sana’y di magmaliw ang dati kong araw
Nang munti pang bata sa piling ni Nanay
Nais kong maulit ang awit ni Inang mahal
Awit ng pag-ibig habang ako’y nasa duyan
Sa aking pagtulog na labis ang himbing
Ang bantay ko’y tala
Ang tanod ko’y bituin
Sa piling ni Nanay
Langit ang buhay
Puso kong may dusa
Sabik sa ugoy ng duyan mo Inay
Sana narito ka Inay
Sana’y di magmaliw ang dati kong araw
Nang munti pang bata sa piling ni Nanay
Nais kong maulit ang awit ni Inang mahal
Awit ng pag-ibig habang ako’y nasa duyan
I grew up with the hammock (duyan) in the middle of our living room, it is where I sleep as a child with my mother watching over me.
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3 thoughts on “Mother

  1. Hello, Ms. Shanjima,

    Iyon nga ho, we have always thought that our mothers will be there for us – that she’d outlive us, for some reason. That no matter, kahit matanda na tayo, tayo pa rin ang iintindihin at uunawain – kasi Ina sya at anak tayo. Little did we know na kulang na pala ang oras and that we should have spent more time with her and listened to her stories. At ang sakit pag nawala na sya, lagi nating kailangan ang pagmamahal, alaga at presence nya. Maski ‘yong presence lang… ^^ Sabi nga doon sa isang novel na nabasa ko rati – “When do we get past caring?” It seems we don’t, we in fact, don’t. And the best caring that we’ve known and will always know to be incomparable is that of our mothers’.

    Belated Happy Mother’s Day and warm regards! Thanks for dropping by… 🙂

  2. I have a follow up post on Mother, when I talk to my sister, she told me that there is a different interpretation on her mumblings of wanting to ride a ship, adding “even if she has to pay the fare”. this is an interesting one.
    thanks for the comments and like.

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